Attention HellMart Shoppers!

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Attention HellMart Shoppers! is a twice monthly horror/comedy audio-drama. Join the staff of HelloMart, a big box super-store built on top of the gates of hell, as they battle the forces of evil in order to bring you the best customer service minimum wage can provide.

Recent Episodes
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Recent Reviews
  • amilla1234
    Funny, entertaining, unbalanced voice acting and overdone jokes
    Definitely worth a listen. It’s funny, decent story line and is just fun to listen to. I’ve listened to basically every audio drama out there. This sits in the middles Production is good, jokes are funny.. some of the jokes just don’t age well and they over do it a lot. Some of the voice acting is just bad… you can get through it but it’s not good
  • CAMP06
    Love this show!
    A really fun cast of characters. Hoping they come back for more episodes.
  • Kells K.
    Great podcast - Retail at its finest!
    As someone who has worked in retail for several years, this podcast does a great job of detailing some of the adventures I’ve had. No, Pumpkins Kings or possessed TVs were involved, but the humor, antics, and camaraderie, and drama amongst the staff are spot on. Great audio talent, editing, and storyline. Recommend for anybody with dark sense of humor (and has been traumatized by retail ;) ). Can’t wait for season two!
  • angeryangy
    Phenomenal script, unfortunate actress
    This show has a great premise, funny script, and incredible production. What I don’t understand is how the female actor was kept on the project. The male actor is FANTASTIC, so I have to assume he just went with the first female who took interest in the show he was writing. I’ll keep listening because there aren’t many female characters, but good god. I haven’t heard such low effort and emotionless acting since a middle school play. It’s no wonder she plays Valerie the best. Ideally, re record the whole thing with literally any other female actor lol. There are great voice actresses all over the world of podcasting that I’m sure would be happy to help.
  • TazzD84
    What’s going on??
    I love the show, WHEN WILL YOU BE BACK?!?!?!
  • Angiejava
    Refreshingly fun and a bit addictive.
    Love the characters and the humor! I should have paced myself when I found this podcast. I’ve managed to plow through the whole thing. I hope more episodes are coming!🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻
  • Raven, Heather + Scatter
    Totally worth it
    I want more, more!
  • PhelineCat
    Just dumb
    I was listening to so many high quality podcasts when I tried this I didn't have to put up with the sophomoric humor I found here. Somehow only positive reviewers bother to comment which is unfair to people looking for good quality podcasts. It's even harder to leave a review for someone who listens exclusively with a 3rd party pod player like the excellent Overcast but I borrow this (still dreadful?) native player to suggest podcasts.
  • cmcturn
    Yay!
    Yay!
  • SammyCasti
    Just Listen to It
    Don’t doubt yourself and don't prolong it. Just listen to it. It is hilarious. I love it, I love it. I find myself constantly covering my mouth and shaking trying to contain my laughter while listening to it at work. Keep it going. The writing is perfect! I can’t believe this is just one voice actor.
  • mr1185
    Best part of my morning
    I found this podcast a while ago and was totally caught up. Then I noticed they started releasing little shorts during the pandemic and I couldn’t be more grateful. It’s a fun way to start my morning while getting ready for work. Thanks so much for the extra effort.
  • mish909
    Love this podcast
    Makes me lol. Great characters. Great writing. Can’t wait for more.
  • mom2ELM2
    Funny, original audiodrama
    This show has made me literally laugh out loud on a number of occasions. I don't mean it in the same way stupid people use lol as a default reaction to something mildly amusing. I'm talking about the laughing out loud that happens when you're listening to something truly funny by yourself in the car and laughter suddenly bursts out of your face, seemingly out of nowhere, causing other nearby drivers look at you funny. Do yourself a favor and give this show a listen.
  • Ash8787421780
    Meh
    Wanted to like it but after 6 episodes I just couldn’t get into it. The woman who voices Emily is really bad, if there’s going to be a season two please step up your game because I hate how you seem to be reading off a script with no emotion.
  • Natedogg2114
    Love it!!
    Such a fun listen! I am finishing my 3rd time listening to it in a week. Can’t wait for season 2.
  • Ell Gamester
    Very hard to follow.
    It's amazing that they made a somewhat cohesive plot with only two voice actors, but sometimes it can get confusing telling the difference between them. Has a fun plot, and a great season finale though.
  • Ceadus_LO
    Omg!!
    I just started listening to podcasts and this is one of my first podcast ever. I can not get enough it is absolutely hilarious and great storytelling. I’m addicted
  • 2022 Olympics
    Where did you guys go??
    This is my favorite podcast but it’s been so long since the last episode and I’m so sad. Still 5 stars though because it is highly entertaining.
  • Stationary Hobo Productions
    Love your sense of humor
    If you like your comedy murky with a tiny dose of nihilism, I strongly recommend this audio drama. Every episode has made me chuckle deeply.
  • Mlpzero
    Very entertaining
    Great show . I hope there will be more to come. Reminds me of aqua teen hunger force , and squidbillies on adult swim. They should turn hellomart into a cartoon.
  • JGRIZZLY32
    Amazing
    This podcast is insanely funny. I listen to it thru my headphones at work and I laugh so freaking hard and everyone gives me weird looks but this podcast is fantastic!
  • DogBeachPeople
    O.M.G. Seriously
    Fiendishly creative, high quality audio, characters that only a mother could love. Plus, This podcast has the best theme music ever. Like hum along in your car and get weird looks awesome.
  • theonelostguy
    Top Shelf
    This show is absolutely on the Top Self of All the “Comedy Horror Podcast”just discovered and can’t imagine life without it!
  • SammmyG98
    👌🏻
    Kinda reminds me of uncanny county. I very much enjoy it. Helps that the music is fun.
  • Project-9
    Great listen!
    I love this podcast so much, just binged the entire thing and I'm bummed it's over. The story is entertaining and suprisingly deep, I love the world building and the characters. I also like pickin out the impressions, so many of the voices seem to be impressions of characters and real people. Off the top of my head there seems to be Ross Perot, the Count from Sesame Street, Matthew Mcconaughey, G.W. Bush, the Cajun guy from the Waterboy, Forrest Gump and the old lady baliff from Night Court. Also recognized at least one voice from Subject Found and King Falls a.m. If you like a good quality humourous audio drama with supernatural and retail themes this is the show for you.
  • TanayaJJ
    I loved this podcast!
    The acting and plot was so good it was really like watching a movie or a tv show!
  • Sunsetsprite
    Simply the absolute best.
    I listen to a lot of podcasts. And I mean a lot of podcasts. Attention HellMart Shoppers Is one of the best out there! The voice talent is excellent. The sound quality is superb. The story is laugh out loud funny the first time you hear it the second time you hear it and the third time you hear it. Everyone I have introduced it to has fallen in love with it! I cannot recommend it enough. Can’t wait for season two (HINT!!).
  • MMF126/79
    I would’ve given 5 stars but...
    Emily’s voice is too flat. I don’t know if its on purpose but she needs some practice...
  • ChemicallyWrit
    The Real Retail Experience
    This two-person show is funny, frightening, and delightful. The theme song's a jam and the characters are as real as anyone you'd meet at a local superstore. A ton of fun.
  • CPH EsQ
    Ahhh genius silliness
    Werechicken. Oh you need more than one word in a review right. Okay this podcast is fantastically fun not for the whole family, unless you’re all grown then go for it. Seriously. Or not seriously. But try it.
  • Sally adddddddds
    Funny writing but
    I had to stop listening. Emily’s voice sounds like she is reading a script while everyone else’s voice sounds natural.
  • tug35919
    A Legendary Podcast
    I first heard about Attention Hellmart through FateCrafters. I knew FateCrafters had some good podcasts, but I was certainly blown away by Thoreau's work. He has so much talent. Keep up the good work!
  • Tancred672
    Amazing
    This is one of the most wonderful podcasts I've listened to, a perfect blend of horror and comedy. If you've ever worked retail, YOU MUST LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST!!
  • Dan Lovley
    Wacky and wonderful
    I went into this podcast expecting some kind of Buffy-style show about stamping out the demons coming from an opening to hell, but was pleasantly surprised to instead find a cheery and unflappable group of tenacious minimum wagers, just trying to get by, usually in the most ridiculous ways possible!
  • Big Brother B
    A genuine gem!
    So often, audio dramas have poor sound quality and wooden actors. That is NOT the case here! Great job you guys, and keep up the good work. An instant subscribe for me.
  • ussintega
    Neat little show and the future looks bright for it
    I found this show through WATP and it’s such a fun ride. The first few episodes are pretty rough but things find there groove and the voices stop being so stiff and you get a really fun show. I’m hoping for way more store hijinks and another good story in S2
  • Ruaqt2
    Two Thumbs Way Up!!
    This is one of my favorite podcasts!! Each week I wait with baited breath to see what Daniel and the rest of the HelloMart employees are up to!! I’ve been hooked from the first episode.
  • Fishbonius
    Whoa man good nutty stuff
    “Just cause it’s evil don’t mean it ain’t stylish” Carlos is my new buddy. This is Monty Python in hell. I give this one relistens just to laugh again.
  • Jo Jo 96322578
    Yes!
    I’m so into this 🙌
  • Averyb20
    Hilarious
    I constantly find myself re-listening to old episodes of this podcast. It’s hilarious and creative, a good blend of horror and comedy. At first I wasn’t too sure about the concept but I am happy to say I was wrong. I can totally see Walmart sitting on top of the gates of hell. It would explain a lot.
  • Desdymona
    worst job ever
    So if you had to work at a giant corporations retail superstore and every paranormal thing you and your momma could imagine happened daily it would be a hilarious disaster right well that is almost this show but it's even better and crazier.
  • Vincent Vangetti
    Entertaining Little Radio Drama
    Stumbled across this gem via Reddit, and the production value and premise are both pretty swell. Daniel's voice is hilarious, and I almost feel bad he has to work at this store...almost. Give it a listen. You won't be disappointed.
  • ShoMarq
    A little town of awesome
    This dark comedy is a riotous ride the whole way through. I have never not enjoyed myself, or laughed, and I couldn't believe it was almost an entire one-man-show at first. This show is well worth your time if you want some accurate representation of working retail and the hell it is, tongue in cheek all the way.
  • P.TwoBears
    Great voice acting.
    I've wasted so much time trying to listen to...unlistenable podcasts because of the truly awful, just...sub-jr. high school drama club acting. This one? GREAT! And funny. Very well produced, well done all round.
  • Mr_Nobody137
    Attention...
    Attention HellMart Shoppers is good from top to bottom, and it is one of the more humorous podcasts out there. The voice acting is great. The characters are fun. The story is both laugh out loud funny and good. It is an audiodrama that is a must listen to as soon as a new episode drops.
  • CTFlick
    Dark, Silly, Fun.
    A dark and sort of surreal workplace comedy, in the broadest sense. The best thing about this show is how unique it is, and as a result it's kind of hard to fit in neat boxes. In short, it's well acted, genuinely funny, ridiculous at times, and a lot of fun to listen to.
  • 2 Male Receptionists Podcaster
    So fun!
    I loved the novelty of it initially, but I soon found myself really drawn into it. Its a smart show. I was expecting more non-sequitor randomness but Mr. Smiley seems to be actually crafting something the way a "real" sitcom would play out, which makes the hellscape so much funnier. Its one of my new favorites, I have recommended it to friends as well as random internet strangers such as yourself.
  • Gabriel.Re
    Clever Story Line!
    What a wonderful story arc for the show! Its very funny and very well put together! Its always a great day when there is a new episode in my queue!
  • spragooo
    Brilliant!!!!
    Seriously hilarious and brilliant. I am addicted to this
  • OhMyMithrandir
    YOU HAVE TO PUT THIS IN YOUR EARS
    the perfect balance between horror and comedy
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