I Was Never There

In this eight-episode series, take a trip into the countercultural movements swirling through West Virginia in the 1970s and 80s. Jamie Zelermyer and her mother Karen investigate the shocking disappearance of their friend Marsha “Mudd” Ferber and explore her evolution from suburban housewife to back-to-the-land hippie to drug-dealing bar owner. As mother and daughter venture deeper into the mystery of Marsha’s disappearance, the two process their own history: Jamie reflects on her nontraditional upbringing and Karen reckons with the joyful and complicated consequences of her decisions.


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Recent Reviews
  • pitateet66
    Everyone gets touched
    To think someone can operate openly without consequences is naive. When you fly to close to the sun, you will get burnt. It’s pretty obvious she was a informant, it’s happens, everyone has a snitch list.
  • Debbie WP
    IWNT Takes You Home
    The refreshing candor of daughter-mother, Jamie and Karen as they revisit a fascinating time and place in American history hits so many high notes as they take you on a journey of a watershed period in their lives.
  • Danielina LB
    Fascinating!
    A fascinating mystery podcast but so much more! Truly a captivating portrayal of a time and place in American history that I did not know about, but instantly wanted to learn more. The story unfolds in a beautiful way, great music, great interviews, but grounded by Karen and Jamie’s personal history and connection to the countercultural movement of the 70s and 80s in West Virginia. Give it a listen!
  • heidbeuabflqyv3/-7&
    Interesting…to a point
    The story of Marsha is fascinating— what a character! I appreciated how the narrators’ understanding of her evolved from “Coolest Person Ever & Radical Saint” to a more nuanced picture: a powerful, kind, beloved, but real and flawed woman who got into some kind of bad trouble. Where the story fails is, while billed as a missing person story, the narrators did very little to find out what happened to Marsha. The typical true crime podcast that focuses on one particular missing person over many episodes does far more sleuthing and digging than happens here. That’s probably partly due to the hosts personal stake — one loved Marsha and the other at least loved the idea of Marsha, and neither may have been ready to learn for sure if she really was murdered by drug dealers, which seems entirely likely. Both mother and daughter show a tendency toward magical thinking of one kind or another — being specially protected by a magical force, being guided by Marsha telepathically in making the podcast, notions like that. But it seems to me that the plot and podcast would be just the same without any magical intervention— white people break marijuana laws and receive minor penalties—shocker—and they tell an inconclusive story of an interesting person and still have no idea what happened to her. That said, as a portrait of a charismatic figure and of counterculture life in the 70s and 80s, it’s often genuinely engaging.
  • Ybdrjbsss
    Not a true crime series
    I expected to hear more about Marsha’s actual disappearance, about the people she interacted with leading up, and the facts of her case. Instead this was a podcast of random people who knew Marsha reminiscing about how much drugs and sex they had in the 80s.
  • BananaM.
    Nostalgic and cringeworthy
    Brought me back to my youth living communally without TV. I could identify with a lot of this story. I hope that someone is able to add to what ever happened to Marsha!
  • AmbahJ
    Yawn.
    Privileged “counter culture” boomer reflects on how cool she and her people were all while failing to actually investigate what happened to her good friend who disappeared.
  • planhanery
    Absolutely incredible
    This podcast is so engaging; the investigation is fascinating, but the design and the style of storytelling are what’s making me hit move to the next episode as soon as I finish one. It’s an amazing experience to follow along.
  • Izzy_Dee
    Great show!
    Loved the dynamic mother-daughter hosts telling the story of this flawed and complex character that is Marsha. Wish we would know what happened to her but sometimes in real life we just don’t get to know. Still a fascinating journey! Well done!
  • mary who comes alone
    Enjoyed it!
    Loved the mother/ daughter relationship...the honesty about a very different place and time was raw, sometimes shocking, but beautifully described. They strung together the interviews and commentary very effectively. Highly recommend.
  • 70s80schild
    Podcast listener
    Hard to capture this time period but these hosts did a great job. Would love to hear more from the mother daughter team. People are definitely complicated!
  • Tweetrec
    Love it!
    Got this recommendation from Stephen King’s tweet. Great story! Love the mother daughter hosts.
  • Heyyy67
    I Was Never There
    This missing person was not as interesting as these women think she was. Also, I have grown weary of all the podcasts aiming to solve a mystery that clearly won’t and don’t. Then we all have to pretend that the journey is the destination.
  • BKlisten
    Excellent Podcast
    Thorough deep dive into the back to the land movement in West Virginia in the 1970s and 80s with a true crime hook. Fun story! This would make a great tv show
  • VZ_320
    love the sound!
    Love the sound of this pod, and it brings something new with the mother-daughter relationship
  • uvahoos
    Compelling and Nuanced
    What a wonderful show! It really transports you to different place and time. Jamie and Karen were great hosts, and I love that this is a true crime podcast that actually feels compassionate and nuanced. Jamie and Karen knew and cared for Marsha, and it’s a nice change from the often exploitative nature of the true crime genre. Totally worth a listen.
  • Mich Dale
    BEST TRUE CRIME EVER!
    So much more than just true crime. The story of Marsha and Jamie and Karen - loved learning about counter culture West Virginia
  • Cpsetter
    Omg. Listened to entire podcast in one day.
    Craving more! I grew up with a hippie (single) mom. I can relate to this. I totally raised my kids opposite of how I was raised. But even if you didn’t have a hippie mom or hippie parents, doesn’t matter. LISTEN TO THIS. Takes a lot to keep my attention. But this does it in a lighthearted way. Not too heavy. Just right. Please give us more.🙏🏼🙏🏼
  • smbtk
    Excellent
    This podcast draws you in immediately with the warm connection and ease between mother and daughter and continues mounting intrigue as we learn more each time about the colorful star, Marsha, and what exactly she was keeping from her friends and loved ones. Bonus if you love hearing about life on a commune in 70s West Virginia! And the theme song is addictive!
  • KathanMat
    Why was this a NYT best of year pick?
    The NYT picked this as one of their top podcasts of the year? What? Completely unmemorable. Not particularly well done. The episodes drag on, don’t present much new information. I struggled through the first few but found it pretty boring and wont be finishing. Waste of time.
  • Tee927
    Odd and Interesting 'True Crime'
    How many podcasts start off about a 'missing person' (true crime... ?) and are able to weave Jello Biafra from DK along with wild stories (the laced coffee at a Klan meeting is brilliant!)? Could they have nipped and tucked the whole podcast by at least a full episode? Oh yeah. Still a good interesting listen about a mythic larger-than-life character.
  • like satie
    Waste of time
    What a useless pointless waste of time. Self indulgent podcast.
  • Keyta7777
    Doesn’t go anywhere
    I like the hosts, but each episode is so drawn out and it doesn’t really make much sense, she’s missing, she sold drugs, the end
  • AnnieRuthie
    Truly fantastic
    Really beautiful storytelling, and so interesting. It’s a great story with the added bonus of a mother and daughter telling it for a dynamic layer.
  • Chandy Arroyo Grande
    One of the best podcasts had listened to in a long time!
    Very well done!
  • Blair Ede
    Classic WV police work
    Episode 6
  • ZBUteGuy
    Binge worthy
    Listened to it in a work day. Entertaining, fresh .
  • Billy1790
    NOT true crime!
    Retread 60’s stories. Time better spent would be listening to Steppenwolf live. Unrepentant stoners. WTH. Getting wasted with your kids around.
  • Dedemario
    Fascinating
    There are so many levels to the story. The 70s/80s hippie culture, motherhood, drugs, activism, friendship, and of course mystery. I wish I could listen to this for the first time again.
  • ursula.s
    Interesting and heartfelt
    The hosts bring their hearts and memories with them as they take us on a search for answers about the disappearance of a real force of nature. I remember this time frame and hearing about communes and “back to the earth” movement. Thank you for bringing this story about Marsha to the forefront.
  • NJmyers
    I Was Never There
    Good story, held my attention. Not interested in listening to promos for other non true crime podcasts, especially those with a political slant. Otherwise, good job!
  • Daytime Ri
    Good and very interesting
    Good listen. The answer seems very clear
  • COWBOY68
    Boring
    Not a true crime podcast …. It’s a cultural reminiscing of the 70’s and a failed culture , the poor lady that went missing , this doesn’t help her one iota
  • Tami Kashia
    I was never there
    Profound Complex pod cast
  • NanMercado
    Fascinating window into the back-to-the-land movement in the 60s
    This was a really interesting, thought-provoking, nuanced and well done podcast, which explored the disappearance of their family friend as well as their experience with the 1960’s back-to-the-land movement. Great conversation starter for mothers and daughters!
  • Madeline Marie Jones
    Marsha
    I really enjoyed listening to this podcast. I was young during those times and it was interesting to go back. Marsha was one of a kind and it was interesting to see her different fastest.
  • vandrea10
    Great Story
    I loved the way this podcast was done. Sound quality and speaking was very clear. I never lost track of the story.
  • geldster
    Worth a story?
    The missing lady must have had quite the personality. Because she is revered for…doing drugs, opening a bar for friends which failed financially and supposedly did volunteer work at a prison only to get matched up with a prisoner selling cocaine. Then she gets into a drug deal and goes missing. Meh…the interesting part is interviews with people from hippie times. But the protagonist doesn’t seem worthy of the story. Actually quite a train wreck . Narration sounds as if read but good investigation…finding people to interview
  • Izybelll
    Intriguing
    Marsha’s story is a trippy-hippie tale of wonders. All of the loved ones in this show explain details and memories of Mudd in a way you can identify with. Long Live Marsha!
  • wvu.fan
    Binged on this show
    This show is about so much more than a missing person. It’s so well done and well researched. The interviews of all the people who knew Marsha give a very complex picture of her. It reminds me that we’re not just good or just bad, you can’t simplify the complex and jump to judgment. I love true stories like this that dig deeper and deeper and keep revealing more aspects of personality and actions. Plus, I live in WV, and was thrilled to learn about the counter culture and the music In Morgantown. Learned a lot. Thank you for this podcast. Go Mountaineers!
  • theidtsveiz
    Worth a listen
    It was good! Got to episode 6 and got fed up with the feminist agenda.
  • JayceeSinclair
    So good!
    I’m so glad I happened upon this podcast while looking for a new true story to dive into! The interviews are great and storytelling really takes you right into the world of Marsha “Mudd” Ferber and friends.
  • Ladybug3637
    Goosebumps
    My Uncle and Aunt went to WVU during the time frame when the disappearance happened so I felt a special attachment to this podcast. It was so very well related that I had goosebumps during several parts of this. The connections that the ladies make with past, current and new people during their investigation makes my heart simultaneously joyful and sad. It’s an emotional roller coaster for sure.
  • Grace Y G
    Engaging storytelling
    Well produced, great story, I love this period piece. Also love that there is not a lot of darkness. Definitely an enjoyable listen!
  • deefia
    Loved it!
    I loved how Karen and Jaime combined true crime with personal stories. It added such dimension to the podcast. I actually wanted to know as much about their back-to-the-land experience as I did about Marsha Ferber’s disappearance.
  • podcast club member
    Awesome Podcast
    I really enjoyed this podcast. It was a very honest and real podcast!
  • wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ahhhhhhh
    Diamond in the rough…like West Virginia!
    I finally stumbled upon this podcast…maybe it was the name? And my search for people who carried dark secrets and came up missing and/or presumed dead? This mother/daughter team does a great job in telling the story and weaving the present with the past. A true pleasure to listen to!
  • Mandamands505
    Great story telling!
    I have no idea how I came across this podcast but I’m glad I did! The mother and daughter duo have a comfortable and fun relationship that helps create space for great story telling. Nothing like hearing a bunch of old hippies reminiscing ❤️
  • @cesargonz
    Antidote to typical true crime
    This podcast is true crime ish but with a whole lot of heart, honesty and warmth. Thanks to its narrator mother/daughter team they take the genre and give it a personal and unique twist. I loved it. Great listen
  • cwc5110
    Welcome addition to True Crime Genre
    Not only was this a generous exercise of storytelling between a mother and daughter, but also a welcome addition to the True Crime Genre. Jamie and Karen create such a fully realized portrait of their friend, Marsha. I wish other podcasts brought the same of level of care and empathy to their subjects. It’s a fascinating story of a movement and culture, a community, and a very complex woman (aren’t we all). Like everyone, I want to know what happened to Marsha and feel the deep loss and longing wrapped up in her disappearance. I wish I was there, so I could have known her.
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