As Long As I'm Living

We're long-distance friends and bereaved moms who lost sons to SIDS in 2021. Each Monday, we chat life after infant loss. Raw episodes with lots of tears, hopeful episodes on the good days, episodes to help those supporting a griever, and interviews with loss parents and other experts in grief and trauma.::We started our podcast to document our journeys toward Happier Ever After and hope to provide support and connection for those who have lost a child to SIDS, stillbirth, TFMR, miscarriage, or any other type of baby loss. We’re sorry you need us, but we’re so glad you’re here!

A Tough Pill to Swallow, a conversation about using psychiatric medication after traumatic loss
Jun 9, 2025 – 00:45:47
The Rules to Your Own Game, an interview about boundaries with "chaos coach" Jennifer Ventling
Jun 2, 2025 – 00:55:59
A Birth Day and a Death Anniversary
May 26, 2025 – 00:33:08
Happy To Be Here, an Alive Baby Birth Story
May 19, 2025 – 00:39:22
Loving the Gone, an interview with poet and griever Sara Rian
May 12, 2025 – 00:56:22
Another Mother's Day
May 9, 2025 – 00:17:43
Alive Baby!
Mar 10, 2025 – 00:02:54
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
Mar 3, 2025 – 00:41:20
Leap of Faith
Feb 24, 2025 – 00:21:37
'Til Death Do Us Part (2), another interview about relationships after baby loss with Dr. Denise Mandel
Feb 17, 2025 – 00:27:53
'Til Death Do Us Part (1), an interview about relationships after baby loss with Dr. Denise Mandel
Feb 10, 2025 – 00:34:02
Take It or Leave It (Advice for Loss Parents)
Feb 3, 2025 – 00:31:01
Write to Grieve, part 2 of our interview with bereaved aunt Rochel
Jan 27, 2025 – 00:44:02
Love... Continued, an interview about creating new memories with our lost loved ones with bereaved aunt Rochel
Jan 20, 2025 – 00:29:19
Congratulations, and I'm Sorry (A Pregnancy After Loss Meltdown)
Jan 13, 2025 – 00:30:47
Measuring Time in Love and Loss
Jan 6, 2025 – 00:20:52
2025: Can We Get a B+ Year?
Dec 30, 2024 – 00:49:26
Where are YOU Now? (3 Years of ALAIL)
Dec 23, 2024 – 00:22:46
50 Shades of Gray Hair, an interview about grief-accelerated aging with dermatologist Dr. Lawrence Green
Dec 16, 2024 – 00:49:20
Invisible String
Dec 9, 2024 – 00:32:18
We Need a Minute
Nov 11, 2024 – 00:07:10
Where Are We Now? (3 Years of ALAIL)
Nov 4, 2024 – 00:40:54
Live with the Sad Dads Club (Insta Live Replay)
Oct 28, 2024 – 00:52:11
Abortion Access for All (A Rant Before the US Election)
Oct 21, 2024 – 00:37:16
Life Update: Something To Lose
Oct 14, 2024 – 00:37:50
The Circle of Loss, an interview about paying grief support forward with Marnina, Michal's Mom
Oct 7, 2024 – 00:50:42
Already a Mom
Sep 30, 2024 – 00:33:31
Bumpy Start, an Alive Baby NICU Story
Sep 23, 2024 – 00:38:14
Quinn is 4... and a big brother!
Sep 16, 2024 – 00:31:43
Shoulders to Cry On, an interview about infant loss support groups with Dr. Denise Mandel
Sep 9, 2024 – 00:43:51
Live Again from DC (Insta Live Replay)
Sep 2, 2024 – 00:32:20
Into the Lion's Den
Aug 26, 2024 – 00:36:09
When Your Pregnancy is Killing You, an interview about TFMR with Emily, Maliyah's Mom
Aug 19, 2024 – 00:42:34
Maliyah's Story, as told by her mom, Emily
Aug 19, 2024 – 00:46:10
One in a Million
Aug 12, 2024 – 00:21:17
A Tale of Two Sisters: The New Beginning, our final interview about shifting relationships after loss with Judith's Sister Ilana (3/3)
Aug 5, 2024 – 00:25:08
A Tale of Two Sisters: The Messy Middle, another interview about shifting relationships after loss with Judith's Sister Ilana (2/3)
Jul 29, 2024 – 00:37:11
A Tale of Two Sisters: The Long Goodbye, an interview about shifting relationships after loss with Judith's Sister Ilana (1/3)
Jul 22, 2024 – 00:33:03
With a Little Help From My (Baby's) Friends
Jul 15, 2024 – 00:20:50
I Can Do It With a Broken Heart
Jul 8, 2024 – 00:35:46
Blessed Are They That Mourn, an interview about hospital chaplaincy with Presbyterian Minister Marcie Brozyna, Rumi's Mom
Jul 1, 2024 – 00:46:28
Death is Life-Threatening
Jun 24, 2024 – 00:35:19
Life Update: Alina's Infertility Era and Judith on Parenting After Loss
Jun 17, 2024 – 00:25:21
A Father's Grief Journey, a very special Father's Day interview with Aiden's Dad
Jun 10, 2024 – 00:46:36
Time Heals All Wounds
Jun 3, 2024 – 00:28:49
Long Story Short, I Survived
May 27, 2024 – 00:43:22
Judith is Pregnant, Alina is Not
May 20, 2024 – 00:22:56
I Think About You All the Time
May 13, 2024 – 00:25:22
We're Baaaaack!
May 6, 2024 – 00:41:27
Hello, Goodbye
Mar 11, 2024 – 00:23:10

Recent Reviews

Brittclara

Wish I found this sooner

I just listened to first episode. I read from that book at Sterling’s funeral and I read it as a child and to my older children. I love this book and it makes me cry even before loss it hit me in my heart.
Ffbdvkutdchj

Helpful to expand emotional intelligence for everyone

This podcast is so enlightening and informative. Judith, Alina, Aidan, Quinn and all of the guests that have come into this space of grief all have had an important message and an impact. While I haven’t been touched by infant loss personally, understanding what it’s like to walk through grief has made me a better friend.
alyssaswiftlarich

Like chatting w a friend

Listening to this podcast is such a unique experience, it’s like chatting with your friend about the inner workings of your own grief filled brain, and they actually understand. Which if you know grief, that is so far from normal. Alina & Judith open up parts of their lives that are so relatable as a loss mom. And so eye opening to those who haven’t experienced loss. I’m so glad (and sad) I’ve found this corner of the internet that has nurtured me through the hardest experience of my life.
RCDalton

Love this podcast

I lost my infant son unexpectedly this past January and have really been struggling with his loss in so many ways. I recently found this podcast and am so glad I did, every single episode hits home. I’ve laughed, cried, and felt so seen by the hosts while listening. It’s such a comfort to listen to them and feel less alone.